Legion of Superheroes User Guides Season Two
by DeejaVu
Summary: We're back with another round of instruction manuals... Rated T just in case, I disclaimingly don't own LoSH, blah, blah, blah. Chappie Two: Brainiac 5
1. Superman X

Congratulations! You have received your new SUPERMAN X! In order to make sure he is a happy time-traveling, Braniac5-hating, future clone of Earth=s greatest super hero, please read and follow the following instructions carefully!

Real Name: Kel-El

Code Name: Superman X

Home Planet: He doesn't have one. He's a CLONE.

Power(s): Super Strength, Super Speed, Laser Vision, X ray Vision, Invincibility, Flight, Ice Breath, Kryptonite Shields and Wrist Knives

Height: about the height of an adult Tandoorian Loparoo. How tall is that? It=s about yay-high.

Weight: pretty heavy, muscle weighs three times as much as fat, and Kel is PRETTY solid

TO ACTIVATE YOUR NEW SUPERMAN X:

You should have a medium sized box. Do not panic, your SUPERMAN X is probably trying to resist the need to smash the cramped box he=s in. It=s Season Two and we STILL haven=t put any budgeting money into the size of the shipping boxes!

1. SUPERMAN X comes with a warp key and the mental blueprints of Imperiex. Don=t bother with opening the box. SUPERMAN X will burst the box open in a matter of seconds.

2. Grab the warp key and refuse to give it back until he acknowledges that you are his OWNER.

3. SUPERMAN X will become docile(but not necessarily content) and associate you with OWNER.

THINGS SUPERMAN X COMES WITH:

You don't have to spend a ton of money and time caring for SUPERMAN X. SUPERMAN X comes with various things to amuse himself with when you don't want to help him fight evil.

Legion of Superheroes Flight Ring

Legion of Superheroes Communicator

Map of New Metropolis

Full Kryptonian powers

Immunity to Kryptonite

THINGS SUPERMAN X CAN DO:

Your new SUPERMAN comes with full Kryptonian powers, which can help with many things, including the following:

ICE SCULPTURES- So you've always wanted to live in an ice castle, yes? No problemo! Kel can make an ice castle for you, big enough for you and your entire family, out of Kryptonite! It's especially good for keeping pesky _normal_ Supermans out of the way! He's also quite good at making decorative Lions for your front yard! Those scare away everyone else.

WORKOUT BUDDY- Are your work outs just dull and sweaty? Kel's got a fantastic workout program built right it! Just do as he does and you'll have a blast while getting trim!

PORTABLE FANBOY- Chances are, you don't have enough fanboys. Drag Kel along and add him to your ever growing crowd of fans!

NOTE: Kel will not be content with doing any of these activities. It's best to just let him brood because he's a grouch.

COMPATIBILITY:

SUPERMAN-COMPATIBLE as cloned opposite personality twins

BRAINIAC5 NOT COMPATIBLE, Kel has issues with Braniac 5 because of his future

LIGHTNING LAD COMPATIBLE as comrades

SATURN GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

TIMBER WOLF COMPATIBLE as comrades

PHANTOM GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

TRIPLICATE GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

BOUNCING BOY COMPATIBLE as comrades

CHAMELEON BOY-COMPATIBLE as comrades

SHRINKING VIOLET-COMPATIBLE as comrades

IMPERIEX-NOT COMPATIBLE, they are mortal-forever written in stone-enemies

FAQ:

Q: My SUPERMAN X seems to be especially cheerful, and he has this odd action figure he=s been carrying around with him. What happened to the wonderfully angry, mean clone?

A: Whoa. That is extremely weird. Best guess: He=s befriended a young boy that he refuses to kill because he isn=t as ruthless as he would like people to believe. This young boy plays with action figures, and made one especially for Kel for him to remember him by.

Q: Help! SUPERMAN X has become attached to me. It=s creepy. He is overprotective and is always batting cars away from me so they don=t run me over. The damage bills are racking up! What do I do?

A: Oops. (Dang it, Hawkins, I told you to eradicate the ATTACH-virus in the Kel models ESPECIALLY!) Send him back and we=ll send you a brand new, normal SUPERMAN X. Unless you want to take your chances with keeping him.... XD

Q: Okay, he came in a weird costume and is slowly dying from iron or lead exposure. I=ve temporarily trapped him in the Phantom Zone, but I want my SUPERMAN X model back! What happened?

A: More viruses, unfortunately. Looks like yours has the Lemon= virus. Send him back for an exchange. But if he dies on us......you=re getting the bill.

WARRANTY

This guarantees that you can only return your Kel if you give us the Key to the Fortress of Potluck Thanksgiving Dinners and start the campaign for bringing Tyroc back!


	2. Brainiac 5

**WARNING: This guide may be offensive to die-hard Brainiac 5 fans. Read with caution.**

Congratulations! You have received your new BRAINIAC 5! In order to make sure he is a happy Ryan Seacrest-haired, green Legion-backstabber, please read and follow the following instructions carefully!

Real Name: Querl Dox

Code Name: Brainiac 5

Home Planet: Colu

Power(s): Twelfth-level iintelligence and Transformer-like weapons

Height: Slightly taller than last season, but he's still a shrimp. Just not THE shrimp.

Weight: Less than last season. He took off a few unneccessary upgrades. And cut his hair to make him look less like a vulnerable little kid that fangirls are attracted so much to.

TO ACTIVATE YOUR NEW BRAINIAC 5:

You should have a small box. Do not panic, your BRAINIAC 5 is probably trying to caclculate the probability of the packing boxes getting larger(as in.....0 divided by 0).

1. BRAINIAC 5 comes with a delusional magalomaniac alter ego/ancestor and the mental capacity of a large solar system. Merely say a wrong equation, such as one plus one equals pie, and BRAINIAC 5 will burst the box open in a moment just to be a smartbutt and correct you.

2. Say that chaos is mandatory and turn the hero switch on his refuse to give it back until he acknowledges that you are his OWNER.

3. BRAINIAC 5 will become content and associate you with OWNER.

THINGS BRAINIAC 5 COMES WITH:

You don't have to spend a ton of money and time caring for BRAINIAC 5. BRAINIAC 5 comes with various things to amuse himself with when you don't want to help him struggle between his loyalty to his friends and the legacy of his ancestor.

Legion of Superheroes Flight Ring

Legion of Superheroes Communicator

THINGS BRAINIAC 5 CAN DO:

Your new BRAINIAC 5 comes with a twelfth level intelligence and an adorable little face, which can help with many things, including the following:

PASTRY CHEF- For some reason, Brainy has this odd desire to bake more than TimberWolf. I think it's because he's a little.....twisted in the head. My far more sane assistant, Pie, says Brainy took Kell's idea and ran with it. Either way, he caters!

WORLD DOMINATION- A lot of our models seem to have this ability. By flipping the hero switch on his chest to villain, he will let Brainiac 1 take over his mind and help you conquer the world. And when I say help you, I mean delete you and take it over himself. Sucks for you!

CALCULATOR- Because Brainy is a smartbutt, he can calculate any equation, word problem, or probability you can throw at him. It makes Calculus seem like first grade addition!

DRESS UP DOLL- I know. You love to dress things up. So now you have your very own mannequin to try things on! And he moves, making the clothing have more effect. He models both male and femal clothes. (NOTE: Not recommended for people who want their BRAINAC 5 to stay at home and not run away from sheer horror.)

COMPATIBILITY:

SUPERMAN-COMPATIBLE as hero and fanboy

SUPERMAN X NOT COMPATIBLE, Kel has issues with Braniac 5 because of his future

LIGHTNING LAD COMPATIBLE as comrades

SATURN GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

TIMBER WOLF COMPATIBLE as comrades

PHANTOM GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

TRIPLICATE GIRL COMPATIBLE as comrades

BOUNCING BOY COMPATIBLE as comrades

CHAMELEON BOY-COMPATIBLE as comrades

SHRINKING VIOLET-COMPATIBLE as comrades, and maybe more?

IMPERIEX-NOT COMPATIBLE, they are enemies

FAQ:

Q: He has freaking SKIN! I want the robot!

A: There's a switch somewhere on him that turns him back. I'm sure you'll find it.

Q: Fangirls won't leave my Brainy alone! How do I get rid of them?!

A: I suggest a fire-breathing dragon. One that feasts on Mary Sues and their creators.

WARRANTY

You may return BRAINIAC 5 if he admits that he's gay for Superman.

I'm kidding, here's something a little easier: If your BRAINIAC 5 does NOT burst out of the box after you say one plus one is pie, you can return him for no money or credit or exchange AND buy a new one.


End file.
